When An Ex Resurfaces...

It has been the most surreal of days lately. My ex, whom I was engaged to after a four year relationship and a bad breakup resurfaced in the oddest way. My coworker is an internet dating junkie, particularly when looking for good salsa partners so she places ads regularly on various boards. I had recently returned from my trip to Ithaca and was sitting at my desk, attempting to recover from the sinus/tension headache that threatened to split my skull in half, complete with a deadpan look with my sunglasses on.

The coworker walks in and begins to fill me in on her various exploits that occurred in my absence (I have to say, they are funny as hell). She starts talking about a guy she's been speaking with, texting, etc. who is a VP of HR at a company. Okay, no issues there. Then she says, "Oh yeah, it kind of freaked me out but he's got the same last name as the owners of our company." Wait. Stop. Red flag starts to wave behind my veiled eyes. I ask her nonchalantly while checking the 300+ emails that have accumulated what his first name is. She tells me. I hear bells clanging in my ears. I stop, turn my chair around, "That's my ex." I turn back around and continue checking the ridiculous amount of emails.

Coworker about falls on the floor and says "No wonder, he's so needy and clingy. He called me fifteen times the first time I gave out my phone number." Nice to see some things in the world don't change. I just had to laugh. We had a longer discussion about my past relationship and she asked some very pointed questions and confirmed for me that ex had indeed cheated on me during our relationship and due to ensuing drama, he lost his job. No surprise there either. A company doesn't just fire their head of HR for nothing. While talking, he texts her, she freaks out, telling me she feels like she's going to throw up. She calls him and tells him under no uncertain terms does she want to talk to him and that she's learned some disturbing things about him. Of course, in true ex style he wants to know what was said, who said it, etc...the funny thing is, he mentioned me to her, not by name of course.

And of course that is when the neediness psycho stalker aspect came out. He proceeded to text her through the rest of the day and two days later, still is. She's changing her phone number. She did tell him that she knew me and was a close friend of mine, he of course saw no conflict of interest and that he hadn't done anything wrong. Consistency is a wonderful thing with narcissists isn't it? I told her there were issues on both sides but the bottom line was he wanted some pretty exotic trophy wife to bend over for him and take his bullshit along with his kids. And obviously, he had serious boundary issues. It took about six months for me to completely extricate myself from him even after I moved out. If I had been smart I would have slapped him with a restraining order and told his ex wife how much he was cheating her out of child support.

I did tell her though that he can't salsa to save his life much less do the white boy shuffle. It is so strange how people come in and out of life. Somehow, I have a feeling that I'll be posting about this more in the future.