Funkiness Divine

Let's just say I'm learning to live in the present and just BE...which right now means laying on my bed typing away on a story feeling exhausted and basically not giving a shit about anything else that's going on in the world. Am I unhappy, no. Am I tired, yes. Hell, I have a job, I have my degrees, I can pay my bills, feed myself, afford to go to the gym and write...let's just hope I can attack the loads of laundry that seem to be multiplying when I'm not looking.

After having a long and good cry last night, one of several in the last couple of weeks I watched a movie called Equilibrium with Christian Bale and Taye Diggs...and thoroughly enjoyed it. First, they're both quite attractive, nothing wrong with a little eye candy in that respect. More than that though, the story fascinated me. I've always walked a line between showing too much and not showing enough of what I feel. I've gotten better but it is still a struggle.

The movie takes place in a dystopian society where emotion has been completely outlawed as well as all things that could evoke emotion...art, music, anything that is colorful and passionate and whimsical. To preserve and enforce this society there are an elite group of men called the clerics, the ultimate leader of this society is only known as "Father." Interesting religious overtones as well, obviously. Each day, every citizen takes doses of a medication that they inject into themselves, including their children. Anyone who violates this and commits a "sense violation" is taken to trial and ultimately incinerated, the women wearing cloaks that remind me of the movie version of Atwood's The Handmaid's Tale. Dress is regulated to blacks, browns, greys and even the windows on all apartments have an opaque covering on them to hide any hue of sunsets or sunrises. I liked it and the action scenes were decent as well...My favorite scene that actually reduced me to tears yet again was where Bale's character breaks down and cries his heart out upon hearing Beethoven for the first time. How can one not have that response to Beethoven?


Prayers for my sister please...she's having thyroid issues again....much love T.